Public Opinion Comic Strips - Page 12

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177 Results for Public Opinion

View 111 - 120 results for public opinion comic strips. Discover the best "Public Opinion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, old, phone, landline phones, no caller id, new technology, offered hard candy, fiddlesticks, couldn't hear

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We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget cut, health, bleak, public, poorly made prodcuts, elevant, organs, still healthy, black market

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After Budget cuts The boss: It might seem bleak now, but things will turn around... As soon as the public starts loving poorly made products that are relevant to a bygone era. In the meantime, who has organs that are still healthy enough to sell on the black market?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no right to opinion, conversation, convey useful info, bonding

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Tina says, "And then she acted as if I have no right to my opinion!" Dilbert says, "Is the point of this conversation to convey useful information, or just to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Tina says, "Maybe we're bonding." Dilbert says, "Maybe not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags amorphous cloud of gas, once human, avoid commitment, molecules stop binding, subtle odor, copier room, micromanage, input

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The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public relations, marketing claims, tap water, unleaded gasoline, reanimate the dead, lousy job, job easier

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Dogbert, VP of marketing PR: "As head of public relations, it will be my job to explain your marketing claims." Dogbert: "So?" PR: "You claim our product can turn tap water into unleaded gasoline and reanimate the dead." Dogbert: "Are you asking my to do a lousy job of marketing just so your job is easier?" PR: "Um..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock, and you said I need to finish my project by tomorrow morning." "And you get to have pizza with me." "I'm on a @#$% low carb diet!!!" "I nailed it." PIZZA

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, cars, news, sales, sarcasm

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Boss: We're going to take a page from the automaker's playbooks. Automakers prove their design skills by creating concept cars that will never go into production. Then they prove their management skills by producing cars that are less attractive than corrective underpants. Tomorrow we're holding a press conference to show the world our own concept product. Our concept product can stop global warming and wax your back at the same time. Man: Can it actually do those things? Boss: Why do you care? Man: So...actually it's just a huge waste of our time. Boss: You have a mighty low opinion of news.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free pubilcity, never been done, sir richard branson

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Dogbert does public relations "You can't get free publicity simply by doing something better." "You have to do something in a way that has never been done." "It's a Sir Richard Branson sort of thing. You wouldn't understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asthmatic dwarves, polygamous serial killers, reporter, slouch, wheeze, homicide, hen pecked

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Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags free publicity, products are deadly, recalling everything, told the media, public relations

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The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork