Question Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

289 Results for Question

View 111 - 120 results for question comic strips. Discover the best "Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ombudsman, management, dispute, consultation, question, soul, value, creepy, no pupils, blank eyes, carefree attitude, envy, devil

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Ombudsman Asok says, "How can you be impartial in my dispute with management when they are the ones paying you?" Helen Fry says, "Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side." Wally says, "He's creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, complaining, stupidity, confused, coworker, leaving, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't understand anything you said for the past half an hour." Dilbert says, "You shushed me every time I tried to interrupt with a question." Dilbert says, "Now we're out of time, and my only memory of this meeting is that noise came out of your donut hole." Woman says, "This is why I don't let you talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, assignment, question, scheme, excited, celebrating, dancing, lazy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, question, children, angry, yelling, screaming, annoyed, wrong, stupidity, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "How are your kids?" Tina says, "I don't have any kids." The boss says, "Are you sure?" Tina says, "That's the sort of thing I'd remember." The boss says, "Maybe they?re hiding." Tina says, "Be wrong! Just be wrong!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, question, ridiculous, serious, confused, annoyed, vendor, stupidity, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Is there any risk that the new software will erase our data?" Dilbert says, "Um?No." The boss says, "Did you ask the vendor that question?" Dilbert says, "Well, no, I?" The boss says, "Then you can't be sure, can you?" Dilbert says, "We outsource our payroll service. The payroll data isn't even on our servers." The boss says, "Isn't everything connected to everything else by the internet?" Dilbert says, "You want me to ask our vendor if his software will hunt down our payroll data from across the internet and try to kill it?" Dilbert says, "And you think he might say yes?" The boss says, "Better safe than sorry." Later that day Man says, "Yes, sometimes it does that. You're the first to ask." Dilbert thinks, "Shoot me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asking, information, confidential, joking, angry, annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "I need you to keep this information to yourself. Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Well, obviously I'd have to weigh the benefits of sharing it versus the risk of getting caught." Dilbert says, "It's sort of a dumb question if you think about it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yelling, angry, annoyed, ridiculous, suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Did you tell a customer that you're not allowed to talk to customers?" Dilbert says, "Yes." The boss says, "You fool! That makes us look lame!" Dilbert says, "What was I supposed to do when she asked me a question?" The boss says, "Did you have access to scissors?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trouble, customer, directions, annoyed, ashamed

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Hey, engineer, can I ask you a question?" Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to talk to customers. We believe that honesty impedes sales." Woman says, "I think you just impeded." Dilbert says, "Oops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, reading, taxes, audit, ridiculous, costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elderly, old, phone, landline phones, no caller id, new technology, offered hard candy, fiddlesticks, couldn't hear

View Transcript

Transcript

We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.