Routes Them Around Comic Strips - Page 12

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360 Results for Routes Them Around

View 111 - 120 results for routes them around comic strips. Discover the best "Routes Them Around" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil hr dircetor, #layoffs, #improve moral, #making tough deciosn, #feel more optimistic, #your fired

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Headline: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert is sitting behind his desk, an employee is standing before him. Catbert says, "I'm reminding everyone that layoffs can improve morale." Catbert continues, "Layoffs prove that management is capable of making tough decisions to turn things around!" The employee responds, "You're right! I do feel more optimistic now!" Catbert adds, "Secondly, you're fired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #fifty candiadtes, #good news, #low level lackeys, #once in a lifetime, #paperwork from promotion

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The Boss stops an employee in the hallway and says, "I have some good news for you!" The Boss puts his arm around the employee and says, "The paperwork for your promotion just came through." The Boss says, "There were fifty good candidates for this job." The Boss hands the paperwork to the employee and says, "It's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity." The Boss continues, "Most people in your specialty are destined to be low-level lackeys forever. But not you!" The employee reads the paperwork and says, "Umm.. my name is Tim. This promotion is for Tom." The Boss replies, "Oh..." He pauses and then continues, "Well.. being a low- level lackey forever is good, too." Tim walks out crying. The Boss calls after him, "Could you tell Tom I have some good news?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #plant watering service, #less expensive one, #plastic plants

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #dental appointement, #cubilces, #scowl, #menaced, #walk amongst workers, #body double

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The Boss says to the costumed Asok, "I'm leaving early, in case I have a dental appointment or whatnot." The Boss puts his arm around Asok and says, "Walk amongst the cubicles until 7 p.m. and scowl at anyone who isn't working." Asok stands in Wally's cubicle with a scowl on his face. Wally replies, "Nice scowl. I feel slightly menaced."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new faces, #introductions, #asok the intern, #signed to everyone, #conference room, #upsetting introductions

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I see some new faces, let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Asok starts, "I'm Asok, the intern." Asok points to The Boss and says, "I report to you." Asok points to Alice and says, "But I also report to Alice on a dotted line." Asok points to Carol and says, "And I report to Carol, on a fuzzy, thin line." Asok continues, "I have a blinking, irregular line to Wally, and a wavy, brown line to Dilbert." Alice begs, "Please... make this stop." Asok continues, "And a disturbing, imaginary line to a food-service cashier who touched my hand while giving me change."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #radiating aura, #extreme incompetence, #turn off, #minute to cool

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The Boss: "Wally, could you.." Wally turns; he has a dotted bubble around his body. The Boss continues, "Oh.. never mind, I see that you're radiating an aura of extreme incompetence." Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says to Wally, "You forgot to turn off your aura." Wally responds, "It takes a minute to cool down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boss, #delight, #lower pay, #new member, #project team, #shirt backwards

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The Boss introduces a coworker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I got a new member for your project team." The coworker extends his hand and says, "My name is Ron but everyone calls me Mo. I don't know why." Dilbert asks, "Mo, why is your shirt on backward?" Mo looks down and exclaims, "What??! Again??!" Mo extends his arms and says, "Stand back. I'll try to fix it by quickly turning around." Mo spins and exclaims, "Aaagh! Hu-aah!" Mo is turned away from Dilbert. Mo says, "Oh, great. Now Dilbert is gone. I must have entered another dimension." Dilbert looks at Mo from behind, puzzled. Dilbert approaches The Boss and says, "Please tell me that his pay is lower than mine." The Boss grins and thinks, "I love this part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #drop lawsuit, #fight dirty, #dispatch goons, #billy blanks on ur butt, #mother, #dilmom, #suing company, #Family

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Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2002's comic on:


Tags #computer, #recycled paper, #doomed to fail, #find joy, #misery, #technology

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The Boss puts his arm around Dilbert and says to the meeting, "I asked Dilbert to lead the team in making a computer entirely from recycled paper." Asok exclaims, "Ha Ha Ha!! You are totally doomed to fail!!" Asok says, "Wally is teaching me to find joy in the misery of others." Dilbert turns to Asok and responds, "You're on my project team."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #be there minute, #sniffing, #cough, #cooties, #direct hot, #unclean, #bugs, #sneezed, #motivation, #looks like

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The Boss calls after Alice, "Tell everyone I'll be there in a minute." He makes a noise, "Sniff." Alice turns and asks, "What's all that sniffing about? Do you have a cold?" The Boss replies, "Little one." The Boss begins to shake and makes the noise, "Mmph." The Boss' mouth opens very widely and he coughs severely. Papers are blown all around; Alice is hit directly in the face with the cough. Alice exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I took a direct hit!" Alice continues, "The cooties are burrowing into my skin." Alice starts running and exclaims, "I'm unclean!!" The Boss and Catbert watch Alice. The Boss says to Catbert, "I hope that's what motivation looks like." Catbert replies, "Close enough."