Sat Down Wrong Comic Strips - Page 12

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887 Results for Sat Down Wrong

View 111 - 120 results for sat down wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Sat Down Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

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500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

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Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

Getting The Wrong Answer

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Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

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Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Dogbert The Special Counsel

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Dogbert The Special Counsel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trump, #comey, #obstruction, #russia, #collusion

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Boss: Everyone says you've been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. I've assigned a special counsel to review all of your email and phone logs. Dilbert: I've done nothing wrong. Dogbert: Stop trying to obstruct justice.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

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Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint

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Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

75 Slides Too Long

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75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint

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Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Imagine He Is Naked

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Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #Advice, #nervous, #naked, #fear

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Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

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Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #boredom, #meeting, #laziness, #narcolepsy, #health, #business

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Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas

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Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.

Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary

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Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automation, #cyborg, #technology, #work ethic

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Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

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Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?