Second Task Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

160 Results for Second Task

View 111 - 120 results for second task comic strips. Discover the best "Second Task" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #deep mud, #misogyny, #mud weasels, #kick people, #complimenting, #screaming

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm off to Elbonia, the land of waist-deep mud and misogyny." Wally leans back in his chair and says, "On the plus side, you can kick people and blame it on the mud weasels." Alice stands in the mud with a couple of Elbonians. One says, "What's wrong, Yugi? One second you are comlimenting this chick, next second screaming." Alice says, "Mud weasel." Yugi is doubled over in pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nobel prize commitee, #theories, #understand, #science, #simpilist soultrion, #heories, #vote ourselves

View Transcript

Transcript

Nobel Prize Committee: The three guys with Albert Einstein hair look at a stack of papers and say, "Okay, we've narrowed it down to the theories we don't understand." One guy says, "In science, the simplest solution is usually the best. Which of these theories is the simplest solution?" The second guy says, "Well... that would be whatever is on top of the pile." The third guy says, "Are you SURE we can't vote for ourselves?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nobel prize committee, #theory, #pig layin, #nobel prize commitee, #otonphay, #ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on the couch. Ratbert says, "I submitted our garbage man's theory to the Nobel prize committee." Ratbert says, "I hope I wrote the theory right. I don't know shorthand so I used pig latin to save time." Nobel Prize Committee: Three guys with hair like Albert Einstein sit looking at papers. One says, "What's an "oton-phay"? A second guy says, "I love what you're doing with your hair."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military secrets, #north elconia, #signed agreements

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits down with a couple of Elbonians. The first one says, "Don't worry that we'll take any military technology secrets back to North Elbonia." The second guy says, "We signed these little agreements that say we won't." He waves a non-disclosure contract in Dilbert face. Dilbert frowns. The Elbonians laugh and give each other a high-five. Dilbert says, "Moving on..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #installation successful, #second digital, #access internet, #tradition requires, #victory dance, #engineers, #kill him, #justified

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of his home computer. Dilbert thinks, "The installation is successful. I have 128 kilobits per second of digital access to the internet." Dilbert dances. Dilbert thinks, "As tradition requires, I do the engineer's victory dance." Dogbert films with a video camera. Dogbert says, "...so if I ever have to kill him, the jury will realize it was justified." Ratbert asks, "Could you hurry?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #changing, #job titles, #non technical, #sec group, #second class citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #task force, #recruit, #smartest college seniors, #lie often, #real life experince, #meetings, #parties

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."