Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 12
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1000 Results for Secretaries (Office)
View 111 - 120 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 16,
2020
Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server
Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday May 02,
2020
Carol Hoards
Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.
Friday May 01,
2020
Alice Borrows Stapler
Tags business, office supplies, face mask, borrow, stapler, paper clip, coronavirus, germs
Transcript
Alice wearing face mask: can I borrow your stapler? Dilbert wearing face mask: not with your bare hands. but i can wrap it in plastic and leave a hole for the staples to come out. Alice: maybe you can just lend me a paper clip. dilbert: i'll throw it to you.
Monday April 20,
2020
No Handshaking
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags business, office workers, job, opening, private, office, opportunity, background, rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.
Monday April 13,
2020
Wally Will Be Right Back
Sunday April 12,
2020
Loving Yourself
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, philosophy, self love, evil, ignorant, selfish, lazy, love
Transcript
boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!
Sunday March 29,
2020
Dilbert Did Not Say That
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty
Transcript
co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

