Several Options Comic Strips - Page 12
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View 111 - 120 results for several options comic strips. Discover the best "Several Options" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 16, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Ratbert asks, "Why did you quit your job as company president?" Dogbert replies, "I made a fortune on my stock options and retirement payout." Dogbert says, "I'm going to turn my attention to philanthropy." Ratbert asks, "Is that the study of people named Phil?" Dogbert replies, "It's mostly about watching people beg and having buildings named after me."
Share October 15, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I saved the company a fortune by sending the headquarters staff on one-way business trips." Dogbert continues as he types, "They haven't wasted money on any stupid projects all day . . . Now I can leak my strategy to the media and exercise my stock options at the uptick." The caption says, "Somewhere in Iowa." Dilbert stands in front of a farm and a dog growls at him. Dilbert says to a woman who is pointing a rifle at him, "Uh . . . I'm here for a meeting." The woman asks, "Did anybody see you?"
Share October 14, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."
Share October 11, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"
Share October 03, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert enters a cave. A door above the sign says "Bureaucracy." Dilbert tells a troll sitting at a desk, "I need to buy an upgrade for my computer." The troll growls. The troll replies, "First, you must write a business case and get five signatures." Another troll jumps onto Dilbert's back. The troll sitting at the desk continues, "Get bids from nine vendors." Another troll approaches Dilbert. The troll continues, "All vendors must be approved by a vote of the vendor approval committee." The troll lists, ". . . Purchase order . . . Budget transfer . . . Legal review . . . Accounting classification . . . Inventory . . ." Several trolls cling to Dilbert's body. The troll explains, "These steps are necessary to prevent employees from doing something uneconomical." Dilbert arrives at home with several trolls clinging to his body. Dogbert asks, ". . . So you suggested a process 'quality audit'?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah, that's the one clinging to my buttocks."
Share August 29, 1993's comic on:
The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"
Share April 23, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."
Share February 10, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to a man, "This exercise is especially for the MBAs in the company." The man asks, "What's the payback?" Dogbert hits the man on the head with a bat several times. Dogbert says, "There's no research to support this method, but you gotta admit it feels right."
Share February 09, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of the Boss and several employees. Dogbert points at a diagram of a man's head being crushed by a vice grip. Dogbert says, "As your consultant I will unleash the creativity that the company has supressed." Dogbert continues, "We'll begin with word association. I'll say a word then you each say what pops into your head. Chair." The Boss says, "Donut?" A man next to the Boss says, "I say donut too." A woman says, "I was going to say donut." Another employee says, "Donut."
Share January 06, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home wearing a headband with an antenna on it. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The Boss is making us wear these things on our heads so he can give us painful shocks whenever he wants." Dilbert says, "I'm rewriting mine so it redirects the signal to Wally." Dogbert says, "I'm sure he'll see the humor in that." The Boss presses a button on his belt and says to Dilbert, "Okay, wiseguy, do you want more of this?!" Dilbert replies, "Maybe one more." In the background, Wally receives several electric shocks.