Spend The Day Comic Strips - Page 12

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688 Results for Spend The Day

View 111 - 120 results for spend the day comic strips. Discover the best "Spend The Day" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

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Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gold, #apocalypse, #money, #Food, #priorities, #hunger, #fool

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Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

Dilbert's Project Is Late

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Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raise, #wages, #money, #salary, #catch-22, #anger, #frustration, #labor, #review

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Whistleblower Laws

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Whistleblower Laws - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #law, #legal issues, #lawyer, #on the lam, #whistleblower, #technicality, #loophole, #legal

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Wally: I thought you were on the run from killing government agents. Dilbert: I only killed the bad ones. My lawyer says that's legal now under the whistleblower laws. [Earlier That Day] Dogbert: It was a tad aggressive, but I think you're fine.

More Than Garfield

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More Than Garfield - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mondays, #Garfield, #sarcasm, #teasing, #conversation, #antisocial, #alienation

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Alice: I hate Mondays more than Garfield. Wally: Why do you hate Garfield at all? Is it his total disregard for lasagna ownership? Alice: Don't speak to me again until Tuesday. Wally: One day down, four to go.

Dilbert Almost Done Commenting

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Dilbert Almost Done Commenting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #idiot, #criticism, #critique, #name-calling

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Boss: Did you comment on my technology strategy yet? Dilbert: Almost done. Do you object to the word "idiot?" Boss: Yes. Dilbert: I might need another day.

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

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Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

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Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

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Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

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Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Elbonians Will Rue The Day

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Elbonians Will Rue The Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #backfire, #hacking, #internet, #retaliation, #revenge, #sabotage, #technology

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Dilbert: I destroyed the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for their alleged hacking, as you wished. CEO: Buwhahahaha! They will rue the day they allegedly hacked us. Elbonian 1: I feel more focused already. Elbonian 2: I haven't been angry at idiots all day!