Strategy Comic Strips - Page 12
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176 Results for Strategy
View 111 - 120 results for strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 31,
2005
Tags overall startegy, never ask questiom, hear the answer
Transcript
How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"
Thursday September 08,
2005
Saturday January 08,
2005
Tags transformational change, feel different, nauseas felling, going to hurl, change feels like
Transcript
The Boss: Our differentiating value-added strategy is transformational change. "How was that? Does anyone feel different?" Alice: "My urge to hurl was increased a little bit." The Boss: "That's what change feels like."
Friday January 07,
2005
Tags new strategy, sales stink, cutting costs, lose hope, working great, higher margins
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."
Thursday December 30,
2004
Tags tell vendor, combination, lack of importance, total insignificant
Transcript
Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"
Sunday July 25,
2004
Tags vp marketing, saturate airwaves, as campiagn, talking squirrel, fake accent, complete fraud, pack up desk, ruin everything
Transcript
The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?
Monday February 09,
2004
Tags typo discovered, driving staretgy, eberyone, avery wong, free delivery
Transcript
Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"
Friday January 30,
2004
Tags deadly product, sued, did nothing, public realtions, goal, jury pool, victims deserved it, moral implications, strategy
Transcript
"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"
Friday January 23,
2004
Tags profits down, sales department, warhouse, book
Transcript
The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."
Thursday December 18,
2003
Tags worry, paranoid beaver, productivity rewarded, alice, merger, boss
Transcript
Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.


