Tv Remote Control Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

241 Results for Tv Remote Control

View 111 - 120 results for tv remote control comic strips. Discover the best "Tv Remote Control" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #watching tv, #news anchors, #report, #tv cameras, #shows, #evil or stupid, #heart disease, #stupid, #banter, #stinks

View Transcript

Transcript

TV Anchorman: Researchers have proven that working with evil or stupid people causes heart disease. Ha Ha! I wonder if the amount of stupidness makes a difference. Your witty banter stinks today.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #functions to outsorce, #dont do well, #management, #sales, #quality control, #core competenece, #brown table startegy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, I put together a list of functions we should outsource." Dilbert continues, "I limited my list to things we don't do well." The Boss and Wally listen as Dilbert's voice continues, "Marketing, quality control, engineering, finance, human resources, and customer support." Dilbert says, "That leaves us with our core competence..." Dilbert continues, "... Sitting around a brown table." Dilbert says, "And, of course, our ability to speak honestly without fear of retribution." The Boss says, "You will never get another raise as long as I'm alive." Dilbert responds, "Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the brown table strategy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corner cubicle, #most pretigious, #entre row, #control window, #harness sun, #no screen glare

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "The corner cubicle opened up. I plan to make it mine." Alice chuckles and says continues, "That's right: I'll be sitting in the most prestigious cubicle in the entire row! Fear me!" Alice laughs harder and adds, "Buwaha! From there I will control the window shades and harness the sun!" Dilbert responds, "Please.. no screen glare."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #own luxury, #motor coach, #work and sleep, #parking lot, #best fanatasy, #tv

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "My fantasy is to own a luxury motor coach." Wally continues, "I'd drive it to work and sleep all day in the parking lot. It would be like paradise." Dilbert responds, "That's your best fantasy?" Wally says, "It would also have a TV, in case I woke up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #stretch first, #sprained arm, #tv remote control, #Wally, #doctor, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #tv ad eeffectivesness, #heard of company, #boring commercial, #viewers drift off, #ad money, #special hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Wally and The Boss, "A survey of your TV ad effectiveness shows that no one has heard of your company." Dogbert continues, "Your ad only says your name once, at the end of a boring commercial when viewers have drifted off." Dogbert holds up a drawing of Ratbert in a hole and says, "I recommend throwing your ad money into a special kind of hole." The Boss responds, "When can we start?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2002's comic on:


Tags #superior perfromance, #not effective, #budget increase approved, #retroactive, #be happy, #some no raises, #10% raise, #future raise

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, your performance this year was superior. I'm giving you a 10 % raise." The Boss continues, "But it's not effective right away." "It kicks in as soon as soon as my budget increase gets approved." Carol asks, "When will that be?" The Boss responds, "As soon as the economy improves and profits go up!" Carol asks, "But my raise will be retroactive to today, right?" The Boss replies, "No." The Boss continues, "You should be happy. Some people aren't getting any raises at all." Carol holds one arm down with the other and thinks, "Must.. control fist... of death." Carol bumps into Wally in the hallway. Wally says, "I just got a 14% future raise just for showing up." Carol holds her arm down again and exclaims, "Gaaa!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."