Work Related Issues Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for work related issues comic strips. Discover the best "Work Related Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

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Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

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Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

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Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

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Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

App For Jumping Off The Roof

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App For Jumping Off The Roof  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #suicide, #murder, #legal issues, #reasonable doubt

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Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

False Rumor

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False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot

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Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #conjecture, #karma, #payback

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Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?

Emptiness And Pain

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Emptiness And Pain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #pain, #emptiness, #soul, #work ethic, #motivation

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Dilbert: This is Randy, our new employee who has no soul. Tina: Wow. What's it like to have no soul? Randy: I feel only emptiness and pain. Tina: I hope you didn't take this job to get away from emptiness and pain. Randy: No, I just wanted to get paid for it.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #insult, #intelligence, #ego

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

All Robots Quit

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All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

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Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.

Robot Will Crush Employees

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Robot Will Crush Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

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Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.