Actual Question Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

312 Results for Actual Question

View 111 - 120 results for actual question comic strips. Discover the best "Actual Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #low priority tasks, #transform into emergency, #escalated, #all worked up, #complain about attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "This thankless assignment shall go to whoever asks a question or makes eye contact." The employees all look away as the Boss continues, "It's really, really stupid . . . Does anybody want to question it?" Alice slides a pocket mirror across the table. The Boss says, "I think I see Ted's eyes in the mirror." Dilbert says, "Good one, Alice!" Ted gasps.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #kitchen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through the house wearing an apron and thinking, "The water for my spaghetti should be boiling by now." Ratbert stands in the pot of water on the stove. Ratbert says to Dilbert, "Oops! You caught me. I usually finish hot tubbing before you get back." Dogbert sits on the hassock and Dilbert sits on the floor leaning against the hassock. Dogbert says, "It raises a big question mark about the capers." Dilbert asks, "Capers?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #coffee, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reaches for the coffee pot and thinks, "I'm the Boss. I can take the last bit of coffee without making a new pot." The Boss yells, "Look at me!! I'm taking the last drop!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dilbert says, "An actual human would feel guilt in this situation." The Boss says, "The pot needs washing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organization chart, #management, #bottom, #most important employees, #payed least, #upside down chart

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We've redesigned the organization chart to show management at the BOTTOM supporting our most important employees! Dilbert: Question: why do the most important employees get payed the least? The Boss; Because they would never think of ideas like this upside- down chart concept.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #upgrade boss computer, #cardboard prop, #came with desk, #new mother board, #new desk, #needs, #no actual computer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bathroom, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: We could have our next all-day staff meeting at my house. Alice: do you have actual furniture? Dilbert: Somebody will have to sit in the bathroom Wally: I call bathroom.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #market research, #market segment, #wild fungi, #pencil erasers, #head rubbed, #piece of paper

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like your opinion for my market research, Ratbert." "Me?!!" "I've lumped you in the market sgetment that includes wild fungi and pencil erasers." "Question one: would you enjoy having your head rubbed vigorously on a piece of paper?" "Who wouldn't?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #unnatural, #have girlfirend, #star trek comaprison, #falls in love, #girl dies, #shooting star, #panic, #weird, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "It seems almost unnatural for me to have an actual girlfriend." LIZ: "Why?" Dilbert: "It's like when the captain on 'Star Trek' falls in love, and you know the woman will die in an unlikely accident." "Hey! We just saw our first shooting star!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt