Better Than Comic Strips - Page 12

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503 Results for Better Than

View 111 - 120 results for better than comic strips. Discover the best "Better Than" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #editors, #writing, #pointless, #confusing, #technical writer, #highly trained, #trick question, #paragraph two

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Dilbert: Your second paragraph is pointless and confusing. Let's just delete it. Tina: I'm a highly trained technical writer. What makes you think you can do my job better? Dilbert: That might be a trick questions, but I'm pretty sure the answer is paragraph two.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes

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Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #dog, #history, #animals, #education

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1989's comic on:


Tags #horses, #pun, #war

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The caption says, "Pun wars: how they start." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm feeling a little hoarse." Dogbert asks, "Horse?" The caption says, "Escalation is inevitable." Dogbert says, "Maybe you got a colt." Dilbert replies, "I need some cough stirrup." Dogbert asks, "Are you gelding a fever?" Dilbert replies, "It's mare-ly a sore throat." Dogbert says, "Hope you filly better." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." The caption says, "In the end, nobody wins." Dilbert says, "You're ugly!" Dogbert says, "I win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #baked products, #science, #flour, #lab

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper. Dogbert enters wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dogbert says, "We're out of flour." Dilbert replies, "I know." Dogbert asks, "And did you know that the bag of white powder in your lab looks just like flour?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Dogbert continues, "And you know how huge, mutated cupcakes will occasionally eat the neighbor's Chevy?" Dilbert says, "This better be a bad analogy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #busy, #death, #sit

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Dogbert sits on a pillow thinking, "I should keep myself busier." Dogbert continues thinking, "Time flies when you're busy . . ." Dogbert continues thinking, "Which means you die sooner. I better sit right here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #thinking, #dustin hoffman, #dog, #mirror, #fur, #zipper, #rock

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Dogbert sits outdoors thinking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just an actor on the cosmic stage of life." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe I'm Dustin Hoffman in a doggie costume." Dogbert thinks, "I better find a mirror and check my fur for a zipper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weapons, #tv guides, #falcon crest, #sex education

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Dogbert stands on a desk and says, "Okay, class . . . Put your weapons away and open your TV Guides." Dogbert continues, "Timmy, please read aloud the passage from 'Falcon Crest' under the Friday listings." Dogbert thinks, "There's got to be a better way to teach sex education."