Don't Know Bugs Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Don't Know Bugs

View 111 - 120 results for don't know bugs comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Know Bugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demoting to engineer, #job to crony, #real work, #pretend, #working, #one wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bankrupt, #401k money gone, #investing, #competitors stock, #wally rich, #investing in competition

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sitting at his computer. Alice approaches and says, "Wally, what are we going to do now that we're bankrupt and our 401k money is gone?" Wally responds, "No problem. I've been investing all of my money in our competitor's stock. Now I'm rich." Alice asks, "Why do you still come to work?" Wally responds, "I don't know how to make coffee."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor is vet, #military service, #rubs belly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technically dead, #wasn't afraid, #life in cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is eating lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Technically, I was dead for eight minutes." Dilbert continues, "I don't know why I wasn't afraid." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "Oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #smoldering mound, #rubble, #career, #didn't like, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, take care of this. It's our top priority." Dilbert: "Sure. I'll just let m other priorities slip until my career is a smoldering mound of rubble." dilbert: "So what is it?" The Boss: "I don't know.. I just didn't like it on my desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #made up language, #inventing language, #downsized, #no word

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "Alice, I don't know the best way to say this but I'll try." "Oog - nah wahgoo yagga bliphnow elga nooey fip wah!" "That's a language I'm inventing in my spare time. It has no word for 'you're downsized.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #profitable, #manage randomlt, #claim success, #funding, #hug

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stale dna, #ceo, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our CEO says he wants to change the DNA of this company. Catbert: whats that mean? The Boss: I don't know, It sounds medical. Im frightened. The boos: Hold me. Catbert: Keep your stale DNA away from me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?