Employees Are Ninnies Comic Strips - Page 12

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543 Results for Employees Are Ninnies

View 111 - 120 results for employees are ninnies comic strips. Discover the best "Employees Are Ninnies" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave

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Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #employees, #asbestos, #ceiling, #wasn't dangerous, #hazmat suit, #not fair, #judge, #clothes, #business, #legal

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The Boss: The employees are getting all whiney about the asbestos in the ceiling." "I told them it wasn't dangerous, but apparently I'm not credible in this HazMat suit." "I don't think it's fair that they judge me by my clothes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2007's comic on:


Tags #accused of punching, #crazy coworker, #defense, #less carzy, #list of employees, #further punching

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Catbert: "Alice, you've been accused of punching a crazy co-worker." Alice: "In my defense, it did make her less crazy." Catbert: "I know. Here's a list of additional crazy employees I'd like you to punch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business

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Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #thinking, #twitter, #witty tweets, #power to destroy career, #abusing employees, #personal gain, #business

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Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #frustration, #deliverable deadline, #proactive, #opposite of proactive, #empowered employees, #bad morale, #big bungler, #open door policy

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Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #questioning, #employees are happiest, #jobs give meaning, #sense of meaning, #bag of organ meat, #draped over, #electric fence, #psychology

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Dilbert: I read an article that says employees are happiest when their jobs give them a sense of meaning. What is this "sense of meaning" thing and how can I get some of it? Because I feel like a bag of organ meat draped over an electric fence. Boss: Almost the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #high level of trust, #employees, #performance, #scam, #business

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Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #virtualization, #project, #employees, #heavy thinking, #obstacles, #progress, #business

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The Boss: I hired a consultant to help with our virtualization project because I don't trust employees with anything important. Dogbert: I will do the heavy thinking while each of you performs your usual duties as obstacles to progress. Dilbert: You said this is my project! Dogbert: I'll let him unplug something.