Engineers Comic Strips - Page 12

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216 Results for Engineers

View 111 - 120 results for engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, joking, practical jokes, sex appeal, sexiness, honor, practical joke, evil genius, cleverly, concealed, true identity, sit on rocks

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Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags egyptians, engineers, human resources, pyramids, pharoahs, secrets, reschedule, meeting, historically accurate, new policy, business

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Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?

Brainstorm With Other Engineers

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Brainstorm With Other Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product design, managers, marketing, simplicity, complication, inventions, ideas, business

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Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?

Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling

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Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags supreme court, partisan politics, engineers, morals, legislation, conservatism, liberal, guilt, innocence

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Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

Signal To Noise Ratio

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Signal To Noise Ratio  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compliments, backhanded compliment, criticism, engineers

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Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain

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Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Engineers Don't Lie

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Engineers Don't Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, ceo

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the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate

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boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

Destroy The Competition

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Destroy The Competition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech

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boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?