Engineers Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
216 Results for Engineers
View 111 - 120 results for engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 20,
2014
Tags engineers, joking, practical jokes, sex appeal, sexiness, honor, practical joke, evil genius, cleverly, concealed, true identity, sit on rocks
Transcript
Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.
Friday November 07,
2014
Tags egyptians, engineers, human resources, pyramids, pharoahs, secrets, reschedule, meeting, historically accurate, new policy, business
Transcript
Catbert: Egyptian pharaohs killed the engineers who build their pyramids so they would never share their secrets. Dilbert: No... I don't think they did. Catbert: Really? Dang! Can we reschedule this meeting until I find a historically accurate explanation of our new policy?
Monday April 20,
2015
Brainstorm With Other Engineers
Tags product design, managers, marketing, simplicity, complication, inventions, ideas, business
Transcript
Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?
Monday August 24,
2015
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling
Tags supreme court, partisan politics, engineers, morals, legislation, conservatism, liberal, guilt, innocence
Transcript
Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.
Saturday November 07,
2015
Death By Emoji
Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.
Monday June 04,
2018
Signal To Noise Ratio
Tags compliments, backhanded compliment, criticism, engineers
Transcript
Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.
Sunday October 28,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.
Saturday May 04,
2019
Engineers Don't Lie
Tags boss, business, office, office workers, ceo
Transcript
the boss: i saw dilbert talking to the ceo. i think he's trying to undermine me. catbert: engineers don't lie. the boss: that's what worries me.
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Sunday February 28,
2021
Destroy The Competition
Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech
Transcript
boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

