Excuse Poepl Comic Strips - Page 12
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124 Results for Excuse Poepl
View 111 - 120 results for excuse poepl comic strips. Discover the best "Excuse Poepl" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 26,
2017
No Calendar Needed
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #calendar, #excuse, #avoidance
Transcript
Man: Do you have time to check my design? Wally: Let me see. Nope. Man: Did you just check your calendar? Wally: With my system, I don't need a calendar.
Wednesday August 30,
2017
Blamecatcher
Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse
Transcript
Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."
Saturday September 09,
2017
All Robots Quit
Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult
Transcript
Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.
Friday September 29,
2017
Everything Sounds Like A Lie
Tags #lying, #deception, #catch-22, #accusation, #innocence, #guilt
Transcript
Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.
Tuesday January 02,
2018
Wally Has A Car Problem
Tags #blame, #excuse, #laziness, #problems, #starbucks, #car problem
Transcript
Wally: Sorry I'm late. I had a car problem. Boss: What kind of car problem? Wally: I didn't get in it soon enough. Boss: That sounds like a "you" problem. Wally: Then my stupid car took me to Starbucks.
Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Thursday March 01,
2018
Optimal Meeting Density
Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business
Transcript
Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.
Saturday March 31,
2018
Anyone Fired Lately
Tags #blame, #fired, #scapegoat, #laziness, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: Before I give my project status report, has anyone quit or been fired recently? Boss: I fired Ted last week. Now tell me why your project is late. Wally: It was Ted's fault.