Far Superior Comic Strips - Page 12

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125 Results for Far Superior

View 111 - 120 results for far superior comic strips. Discover the best "Far Superior" comics from Dilbert.com.

How Conversations Work

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How Conversations Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #distraction, #phone, #social, #technology

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Dilbert: The weather will be good this weekend. Alice: Stop right there. Your proposed topic of conversation is far below the level of entertainment I can get from my phone. Dilbert: I don't know how conversations work. Dogbert: You're interrupting my phone time.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

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Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

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Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

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Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Get Multiple Approvals

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Get Multiple Approvals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #problems, #work, #frustration

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Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #sarcasm, #obliviousness, #future, #psychic

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Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

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Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear

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Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Elbonian Interference With Ads

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Elbonian Interference With Ads - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #troll, #social media, #damage, #marketing, #bot, #nonsense, #business, #technology

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Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

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Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

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Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

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Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.