Few Bugs Comic Strips - Page 12
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217 Results for Few Bugs
View 111 - 120 results for few bugs comic strips. Discover the best "Few Bugs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 28,
1999
Tags #fifty mile run, #join me, #two triathlons, #entry forms
Transcript
Strong Guy says to Dilbert who is working in the cubicle, "I'm going on a fifty-mile run. Would you care to join me?" Dilbert says, "No." Dilbert works on his computer. Strong Guy says, "I signed up for two triathlons this weekend. Do you want the entry forms?" Dilbert says, "No." Strong Guy says, "Next week a few of us will be leaping into geosynchronous orbit..." Dilbert raises his arms in frustration and says, "Gaa!"
Saturday November 27,
1999
Tags #the turnaround ceo, #turnaround is complete, #new job, #meat packing, #reduce overhead, #switch rooms, #fisnih afternoon
Transcript
The Turnaround CEO The devilish CEO says to Dilbert, "The turnaround is complete. I'm off to my new job." He continues, "It's a meat packing house that need to reduce overhead." Still talking, "I figure I can switch a few room signs and finish in an afternoon."
Monday August 07,
2000
Tags #secretary works harder, #paid less, #many like you, #kill boss eventually, #fewer bosses
Transcript
Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."
Wednesday August 23,
2000
Tags #pay slip, #increased complexity, #won't know, #rip off, #clueless, #in the dark, #happy to be evil, #cheat, #evil catbert
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."
Saturday December 09,
2000
Tags #crime, #finding guilty, #jury finding, #proram, #witness protection
Transcript
The jury verdict DILBERT: WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.... ...OF THIS CRIME AND MAYBE A FEW OTHERS THAT DIDNT COME UP, LASTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY BROCHURES FRO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?
Sunday December 06,
1998
Tags #vast wisdom, #evil sadistic, #obstructionists, #trust no one, #except the lazy
Transcript
Asok the Intern enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, may I tap into your vast wisdom?" Wally turns and answers, "Okay, but make sure you pull out before your head explodes." Asok says, "I've noticed that many employees are evil, sadistic obstructionists." Asok continues, "Do all the nuts work HERE by some strange coincidence?" Asok continues, "Or are most employees evil?" Wally says, "Don't focus on the evil, Asok." Wally says, "Focus on the few employees who seem good." Wally continues, holding up his hand, "THEY'RE the ones who will stab you when you're sleeping! Trust no one but the lazy!" Asok runs out of the cubicle yelling, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally calls after him, "I warned you to pull out."
Wednesday October 03,
2001
Tags #six sigma program, #doomed, #same consulatant, #worthless progarms, #totally different name
Transcript
"You've got to implement a six sigma program or else you're doomed." "Aren't you the same consultant who sold us the worthless TQM program a few years ago?" "I assure you that this program has a totally, totally different name." "When can we start?"
Tuesday January 22,
2002
Tags #dilebrt the sales guy, #mother, #overpirced, #hard to use, #spit, #packaging, #mom, #surprised, #mother and son, #Family
Transcript
Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert's mom is holding his product. She says, "I wouldn't buy this @#!%!!& with YOUR money." Dilbert's mom continues, "It's overpriced, hard to use, full of bugs and it solves no problem." Dilbert's mom continues, "I spit on your packaging!" Dilbert responds, "Um.. Mom.."
Friday February 15,
2002
Tags #on time, #hourly fee, #specified, #wag
Transcript
The Boss says to Dogbert, "Wow! You finished the project below your estimate and on time." Dogbert holds on to his tail and thinks, "Hold..Hold..." The Boss continues, "All I need are a few changes at your hourly fee, which was never specified in our contract." Dogbert still holds his tail and thinks, "Hold... Hold... Hold..." Dogbert is standing on the table, wagging his tail profusely: "WAG!"
Saturday March 16,
2002
Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money
Transcript
A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."