Search Results for "financial troll"

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Unethical Assumptions

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Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

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Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

Getting The Wrong Answer

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Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

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Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

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Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

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Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

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Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math

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Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #guessing, #finances, #forecast, #estimate

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Boss: Your financial forecast turned out to be wrong. Dilbert: Is that a surprise, given that forecasts are mostly just guessing plus math? Boss: The math is supposed to fix the guessing. Dilbert: I think we've isolated the problem to you.

Nailed It

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Nailed It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #finances, #guessing, #estimate, #catchphrase, #clever

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because your financial forecasts were all wrong. Dilbert: Financial forecasts are always wrong. You told me to make one anyway. Boss: In other words, I nailed it and you failed it. Dilbert: Catchy.

Directionally Accurate

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Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

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Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Elbonian Interference

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Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

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Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Feedback From Twitter Guy

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Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #tweet, #communication, #troll, #technology

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Carol: I finally signed up for Twitter. Sending my first tweet. Uh-oh. What the??? It seems I have opened some sort of portal to Hell. Demons are streaming through the portal!!! I have never seen such horrible thoughts! Gaaaa!!! Dilbert: How was your first day on Twitter? Carol: I'm already addicted to it.