boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all.
carol: do philosophers really say that?
boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself.
carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage.
boss: that sounds a lot harder.
carol: in other words, you are lazy.
boss: i love that about me!