Ideas Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
143 Results for Ideas
View 111 - 120 results for ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, thinking, judge them, chipmunk, judge algebra, complex and useful, innovative circuit design, engineer, office setting, desks, computers, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.
Monday April 14,
2014
Tags thinking, ideas, sock at, steal ideas, double workload, employee, boss, professional realtionships
Transcript
Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.
Sunday July 20,
2014
Tags new idea, dream, 3d glasses, for real life, people love 3d, not movies, obvious, ideas
Transcript
CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D
Sunday September 07,
2014
Tags assumption, business ethics, buy prodcuts, corporate strategy, corporation, customer centric, etiquette & ethics, evil, executives, ideas, marketing campaign, monopoly, needs, needs of customers, psychological manipulation
Transcript
CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.
Wednesday January 21,
2015
Dilbert Designs Flying Car
Tags business decisions, good ideas, ideas, innovation, inventions, managers, rejection, flying car, harvest ion, ion powered cars, selfie camera, sterring wheel
Transcript
Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.
Monday March 16,
2015
Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail
Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?
Saturday April 18,
2015
Wally Presents His Idea
Tags ideas, inventions, thinking, coffee, mug, decisions, peer pressure, independent thought
Transcript
Wally: I invented a coffee mug with two handles. It works from any angle of approach, accommodates larger payloads, and has handle redundancy. Alice: I can honestly say it is your best idea yet. Boss: If Alice likes it...
Tuesday May 05,
2015
What Would You Do In A Perfect World
Tags ideas, bad ideas, thinking, scenario, management
Transcript
Boss: In a perfect world, how would you fix the problem? Dilbert: In a perfect world you would not exist, so I would do smart things instead of whatever you tell me to do next. So... what should I do next? Boss: Let's pie-chart this thing.
Tuesday August 25,
2015
Boss Falls Off Bridge
Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business
Transcript
Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

