Key Note Speakers Comic Strips - Page 12
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166 Results for Key Note Speakers
View 111 - 120 results for key note speakers comic strips. Discover the best "Key Note Speakers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 21,
1999
Tags #tina tech writer, #derogatory, #condescending email, #stomach ache, #flee country
Transcript
Caption: "Tina the tech writer" Tina types at her computer and thinks, "My derogatory and condescending e-mail will set things right" Tina clicks a key and thinks, "Send!" Tina looks sick, places her hand on her stomach and thinks, "Everytime I send e-mail, I get a stomachache and an urge to flee the country."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday July 24,
1999
Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion
Transcript
The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."
Saturday October 30,
1999
Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered
Transcript
Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."
Sunday July 26,
1998
Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."
Friday May 19,
2000
Tags #perfromance review, #no initiative, #fault, #creating atmosphere, #fear and distrust
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert during his performance review, "You didn't show any initiative this year." Dilbert replies, pointing at the Boss, "That's your fault for creating an atmosphere of fear and distrust. You, you, you." The Boss thinks to himself, "Note to self: Increase fear."
Tuesday August 22,
2000
Tags #employees, #funerals, #evil dierctor, #heating costs, #too high, #company furnace, #cremated, #business
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.
Thursday September 14,
2000
Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot
Transcript
Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!
Friday August 10,
2001
Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb
Transcript
The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"
Wednesday August 28,
2002
Tags #quitting, #work for myslef, #deal with morons, #freelance webdesigner
Transcript
An employee comes into The Boss' office and says, "Ha ha! I quit you stinkin' pile of rubbish!" The employee continues, "I'm going to work for myself. I won't need to deal with morons like you again!" The employee calms down and adds, "On an unrelated note, if you need a freelance web designer, please call me."