Launch Window Comic Strips - Page 12
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125 Results for Launch Window
View 111 - 120 results for launch window comic strips. Discover the best "Launch Window" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags #punishment, #cat, #throwing, #executives, #animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Sunday January 31,
2016
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic
Transcript
Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.
Monday September 19,
2016
Hire Agile Programmers
Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility
Transcript
Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?
Friday September 23,
2016
Travelling Broadens Worldview
Tags #travel, #perspective, #view, #worldview
Transcript
Alice: I love travelling because it broadens my understanding of the world. Wally: I know what you mean. I just got a cubicle near the window and now I see the world as an alleyway between me and the parking garage. Alice: That's dumb. Wally: That's not what the alley people say.
Friday January 27,
2017
Boss Tweets Fake News
Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window
Transcript
The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."
Sunday June 18,
2017
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.
Saturday May 12,
2018
Purchasing Did Not Order Part
Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay
Transcript
Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.
Wednesday October 31,
2018
Boss Leads All The Way
Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline
Transcript
Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.