Light Show Comic Strips - Page 12
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374 Results for Light Show
View 111 - 120 results for light show comic strips. Discover the best "Light Show" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 06,
2011
Tags business ethics, taxes, warren buffet, tax rate, subsidizing mansion, condescending, show appreciation, ceo, high tax, worker
Transcript
CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.
Friday February 10,
2012
Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.
Thursday February 16,
2012
Tags dating, fast date, technologically, incompatible, internet connection, slow connection, 4g service, relationships
Transcript
Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.
Sunday March 18,
2012
Tags algorithm, attraction, creative men, creativity is random, dating, free will, humans, illusion, moist robots, parties, shop around, short term relationsips, relationships
Transcript
Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Friday April 06,
2012
Tags bears, happiness, compares, raise, working, people attacked, bear attacked, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!
Friday May 11,
2012
Tags disc jockeys, protest movements, threatening boycott, dogcart insulted, organic substance
Transcript
Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?
Wednesday May 03,
1989
Tuesday October 03,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, devil, lettuce, kitchen, rationalization
Transcript
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."
Thursday November 30,
1989
Tags accident, Dilbert, Dogbert, sixty minutes, people, Dogs
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."
Tuesday March 20,
1990
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, blind, date, full-bodied, indivudal, light, overweight, base, camp, ankles
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. The doorbell rings and Dogbert says, "Must be your blind date. I'll let her in." Dilbert asks, "How's she look?" Dogbert replies, "Well, you could say she's a full-bodied individual." Dilbert asks, "You mean she's a little overweight?" Dogbert replies, "I mean Sherpas have established a base camp on her ankles."


