List Of Employees Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

704 Results for List Of Employees

View 111 - 120 results for list of employees comic strips. Discover the best "List Of Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lower costs, #retirement package, #smart employees, #rewrite mission statement, #fit better, #retired by now

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "First, we'll lower costs by offering a retirement package that induces all the smart employees to leave." The Boss continues, "Then we'll rewrite our mission statement to make it fit better." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Our new mission statement is, 'If you can read this you should have retired by now." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job market, #getting worse, #employees afraid, #power to abuse, #grows stronger, #evil dance, #killing me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is reading a newspaper. Catbert is standing on his desk. The Boss says, "The job market is getting worse every day!" Catbert replies, "Excellent!" The Boss chuckles and says, "Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute!" Catbert grins widely. Catbert grins and dances. The Boss laughs and exclaims, "Ha ha! Stop doing the 'Evil Dance!' You're killing me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #contrators, #company air, #employees only, #own air supply, #using light

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Catbert: Evil HR Director. Catbert leans over a Carl's cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Contractors are not allowed to breath company air, Carl." Catbert continues, "This air is for employees only. You need to supply your own air." Carl, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Carl is wearing an oxygen tank and mumbles, "Mmb, Bmf, Rmn, Hmr!" Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Does anyone understand Carl?" Wally replies, "Hey! He's using our light!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #list, #on head, #pimples, #trolls, #finance trolls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the troll are walking. Dilbert says to the troll, "So, if all trolls were once people, that means some people are already changing and don't know it." The troll replies, "Exactly." The troll opens a book and says, "This is the list of people we're waiting for." Dilbert sings to Wally, "I know something you don't know." Wally touches his head and says, "I think I'm getting pimples on my head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #glass walled conference room, #main lobby, #fish bowl, #attractive employees, #send opinion, #convene tribunal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Carol, "Carol, I need to reserve the glass-walled conference room by the main lobby." Carol replies, "The 'Fish Bowl' is only available to attractive employees. We don't want to scare visitors." Dilbert says, "I want a second opinion." Carol replies, "Very well. I'll convene the tribunal of admin assistants."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticize employees, #recreational criticising, #read email, #alice needs to talk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I'll feel better if I criticize some employees." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm doing some recreational criticizing. What do you have for me?" Dilbert responds, "E-mail." The Boss yells, "You read e-mail like a chimp!" Dilbert replies, "Alice said she needs to talk to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #employees, #leave too early, #menacing pose, #more cars in lot, #own email, #parking lot, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #added up columns, #grocery list, #marketing starategy, #pros and cons, #quantified, #unhealthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid finsihing, #surplus employees, #wrong about knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Business is way down. You know what you need to do." Wally responds, "Avoid finishing anything so we never appear to be surplus employees?" Wally continues, "Maybe this would be a good time to admit that you were wrong about us knowing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defective copy, #employees still low, #low morale, #motivational book, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "I read this motivational book and yet the employees still have low morale." Catbert responds, "Maybe you have a defective copy. You should compare it to another one and see what's different." The Boss asks, "What if the second one is defective too?" Catbert replies, "Sheesh... It's like I'm doing all of your thinking here."