Lost Art Comic Strips - Page 12

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179 Results for Lost Art

View 111 - 120 results for lost art comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Art" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #75 extra copies, #discuss, #huge surprise, #mordac, #request computer upgrade, #the rufuser

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Wally sits at his computer. The man standing behind him says, "I am Mordac the Refuser. I am here to dicuss your request for a computer upgrade." Mordac eats Wally's request, shoving the paper into his mouth loudly. Wally is mortified. Mouth full of paper, Mordac says, "We lotht thuh pahperwuhk.(We lost the paperwork.)" Wally holds a stack of paper and says, "That's a huge surprise. Luckily I made seventy-five extra copies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science

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Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #blind people, #excellent hearing, #brain compensates, #telekinetic power, #watch televison, #power to watch tv

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The garbage man says, "Blind people often have excellent hearing. The brain compensates for any lost function by bolstering others." Ratbert sits ona trash can, listening. The garbage man says, "In all likelihood, Ratbert, you're so dumb that you have telekinetic power!" Ratbert says, "Wow!" Ratbert walks off and says, "I have the power to watch television!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process

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A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business language, #competetive, #salary increase goodbye, #core business, #lost, #empowered, #unimportant deciosns, #reengineering, #essential, #people person, #canibal, #hire trained people, #market driven, #balme cutsomers, #value employee input, #hour, #important

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Dogbert sits at a desk. The panel is titled "Business Language Explained." Someone says, "We have to be more competitive." Dilbert and Wally wear barrels instead of clothing. Wally says, "Nice barrel." Dilbert replies, "This old thing?" The caption says, "Meaning: Say goodbye to salary increases." Someone says, "We must focus on our core business." The Boss feels his head and says, "Hello." The caption says, "Meaning: We can't find our butts with both hands." Someone says, "You are empowered." Alice sits at her desk wearing a crown and saying, "I proclaim this to be 'Green Ink Day.'" The caption says, "Meaning: You're the monarch of unimportant decisions." Someone says, "We're reengineering your function." A man and a horse are kicked out an office window. The caption says, "Meaning: Adios, Tonto, and the horse you rode in on." Someone says, "Training is essential." A man at a desk asks, "You were a cannibal?" A man wearing a grass skirt and a bone in his hair replies, "I'm a people person." The caption says, "Meaning: We're trying to hire some trained people." Someone says, "We're market driven." A woman doing research asks a man, "What's your favorite odor?" The caption says, "Meaning: We blame customers for our lack of innovation." Someone says, "We value employee input." Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for listening." The Boss laughs hysterically. The caption says, "Meaning: We think humor is important."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss zone, #donuts on hair, #executive retreat, #failure, #one month, #project, #six phases, #uncertainty, #approval

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The Boss sits at his desk and hands a piece of paper to Alice. The Boss says, "Get my approval at each phase. Finish in one month." Alice looks at the paper and says, "Let's see.. You're on vacation next week. Then you're traveling, then there's an executive retreat..." Alice continues while the Boss appears to listen, "It takes three weeks to get on your calendar... and the project has six phases..." Alice says, "What we have here is guaranteed failure." Alice says, "You've left nothing to chance on this one." Alice says, "I mean, normally there's a bit of uncertainty, but you've..oh." Alice says, "You've slipped into the "Boss Zone" where you can't see or hear employee input." The Boss is a zombie and Alice waves her hand in front of his eyes to no effect. The Boss says to Carol, his secretary, "It's weird. I lost ten minutes, and when I woke up, my doughnuts were gone." A doughnut is stuck on each of The Boss's tufts of hair.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself

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Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #higher drag coefficient, #interns head, #quantify benefits, #knowledge management

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Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2001's comic on:


Tags #growing into job, #accelerated evolution, #progarm, #million years, #two day classes, #lose fire, #opposable thimbs

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The Boss sits at his desk with his hands crossed. He says, "Monty. You're not growing into your job as quickly as I hoped." Monty, a monkey in a suit, stands opposite from The Boss, looking grim. The Boss' voice continues, "So I signed you up for an accelerated evolution program. They pack a million years into a two-day class." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard atop a stool and yells to Monty and the monkey behind him as they enter the classroom. He says authoritatively, "Hurry up! We've already lost the opposable thumbs module; let's not lose fire too."