Low Unemployement Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

164 Results for Low Unemployement

View 111 - 120 results for low unemployement comic strips. Discover the best "Low Unemployement" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #authentic slave owners, #career expectations, #casual day, #company logo, #elfin, #new record forprofits, #petite, #slave labor, #small, #t hsirts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Dilbert and Alice carrying a box. He says, "Great news! The company set a new record for profits!" The Boss continues, "That means t-shirts for everyone!" The Boss continues, "You can choose from sizes 'small,' 'petite' or 'elfin.'" Alice holds up a shirt and asks, "Shouldn't these have the company name or logo on them?" The Boss replies, "Hey, that's an idea for next year!" Alice reads the label and says, "It's 1 percent cotton, 99 percent 'miscellaneous' and all hand-made by authentic slave laborers." Dilbert replies, "That's great! With slave labor you don't have the problem that the shirts made on Fridays aren't as good!" Alice asks, "Do you ever worry that our career expectations have gotten too low?" Dilbert says, "Don't go there, Alice." Wally walks in wearing a small shirt and says, "'Casual day,' here I come!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free tissues, #engineers, #tissue, #secretary, #desk, #box

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands by Carol's desk where a box of tissues sit. Dilbert says, "May I have a tissue?" Carol says, "NO!" Carols says, "Why should the low-paid secretary provide free tissues to engineers?" Wally walks by and says, "Hey, free tissues!" Carol clenches her fists and says, "Gaaa!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attacking me, #number accurate, #too late to apologize, #hate your guys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "Is this number accurate? It seems low." The coworker responds, "Why are you attacking me? Stop attacking me!" Dilbert says, "I think the number is too low." The coworker replies, "It's too late to apologize. Now I hate your guts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat hole, #business plan, #pay huge investment fees, #money losing, #take your money, #push in hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainstorm ideas, #employee morale enhancement, #pin the tail, #boss, #employees, #hatred, #low morale, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone

View Transcript

Transcript

"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

View Transcript

Transcript

I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #filthy, #buck passer, #up your alley, #anger, #disgust, #low life, #sleaze bag

View Transcript

Transcript

The buck-passer "Alice, this task is right up your alley." "Why should I do your work, you filthy buck-passer?!" "Because it's right up your alley." "It's gonna be right up your alley."