Make Ship Date Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for make ship date comic strips. Discover the best "Make Ship Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #strange words, #make sense, #pow, #buy card, #business

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Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Uh-oh...suddenly this meeting and all the strange words make sense." Wally's head explodes. Wally says to Dilbert, "It's your turn to buy the card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worst date ever, #whats on ground, #bends over, #check out ass, #not so good

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Ming and Dilbert are walking together as Ming talks on her cell phone. "Yeah, I'm having the worst date ever. I'll check." Ming asks Dilbert, "What's that on the ground? It looks interesting?" Dilbert bends down tolook. Ming begins talking on her cell phone again. "Not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #any errand, #date women, #film, #movies, #ratbert, #thinks wally is hot, #Entertainment

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Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally and boss, #no actual work, #excellent reviews, #make job helll, #moved cucbicle, #bathroom stall, #cubicle with door, #calls mother

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Wally sits in the Boss' office. The Boss says, "Wally, you haven't done any actual work in years, and yet we continue to pay you." Wally says, "Have I said thanks?" The Boss replies, "I'd fire you, but your performance reviews are all 'excellents." The Boss continues, "So, my plan is to make your job a living hell until you quit." Wally raises his fist and says, "You'll never win! My standards are lower than you can imagine!" The Boss says, "I'll start by moving you to a smaller cubicle." Wally crosses his arms and says, "Is that the best you got? Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally is in a bathroom stall on the phone. He says, "Mom, guess who got an office with a door!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highest priority, #totally worthless, #empowered, #make decison, #double edged sword

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Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrific conversationalit, #write code, #while you complain, #embraced, #date, #end of date, #kiss good night, #hug, #mean things, #said

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Dilbert is dropping his date off after a date. She says, "Thanks for taking me to dinner. You're a terrific conversationalist." Noriko and Dilbert embrace as Dilbert says, "With you, it's easy." They are about to kiss when Dilbert continues, "I discovered that I can write code in my head as you complain about your job all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #complain, #all night, #called a loser, #personality, #one thing, #complaint, #psychology

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Dilbert returns home from his date and says to Dogbert, "My date complained about her life all night long!" Dilbert continues, "But I complain about just ONE thing and she calls ME a loser." Dogbert asks, "Did you complain about her personality?" Dilbert replies, "That's ONE thing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #expectations, #16 hours a aday, #make tired, #workers, #demands boss, #workers not listening

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The Boss announces, "I expect everyone to work sixteen hours a day." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Dilbert says, "It seems like that would make us tired." Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Wouldn't that make you tired?" Wally replies, "I wasn't listening."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leave work, #boss harrassment, #work is done, #make more, #exercise in fulity, #exercise is good

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Dilbert is walking out of the office with his briefcase and his jacket on. The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Leaving at seven?" Dilbert turns and replies, "All of my work is done." The Boss replies, "Then get some more work." Dilbert says, "That would make my life an exercise in futility." The Boss replies, "Exercise is good for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evolution training, #make it thourgh, #banana, #peel, #gorillas, #neanderthal, #monkeys, #jungle naimals

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Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert stands atop a stool in front of students with a pointer in his hand. He says, "Some of you will not make it through the class." A banana who happens to be seated next to a gorilla raises its hand and asks, "May I move to a different seat?" The rest of the class looks on. Dogbert responds, "Sure... Oops. Problem solved. Carl, don't leave that where someone will slip on it."