Miss Old Days Comic Strips - Page 12

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420 Results for Miss Old Days

View 111 - 120 results for miss old days comic strips. Discover the best "Miss Old Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #boosting prformance, #vacation days, #use all, #recahrged, #issed days, #copeantetive advantage, #retirement, #return, #15 year vacation, #20 years in minutes

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"I have an idea for boosting my performance." "You wisely coached us to use all of our vacation days every year." "Because we come back recharged!" "Our renewed motivation is more than enough to compensate for ths missed days." "My plan is to leverage that competitive advantage." "I'll take a fifteen year vacation and return ten minutes before retirement." "Then I'll be so recharged that I'll pounce and do twenty years of work in minutes!!" "Unless it's near a holiday, in which case, do you mind if I leave early?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #old computer, #give to school, #hard drive, #tax accounting, #night mare, #school playground, #old refrigerator, #better idea

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Dilbert is standing in the boss's office. Dilbert says, "How do I get rid of my old computer?" The boss says, "Why don't you give it to a school?" Dilbert says, "Well, it would take me a week to find someone to take it." Dilbert continues, "The hard drive is broken and it has no software." Dilbert says, "And it would cause a tax accounting nightmare." The boss says, "Maybe you could leave it on the school playground at night." The boss continues, "That's what I did with my old refrigerator." Dilbert is standing by the playground swings, putting his computer on top of a refrigerator. Dilbert, standing by Dogbert, says, "What I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #two ways to fail, #miss deadlines, #quality of work, #active non listening, #business

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Dilbert: You've given me so many projects that I have two ways to fail. I can either miss all of my deadlines or I can reduce the quality of my work to rubbish. Which do you prefer? Boss: The class I took in active non-listening is really paying off. I need this by Tuesday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #product changes, #change orders, #new features, #online change order system, #old forms, #change order, #managemet, #better plan, #business

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Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #interviews, #resume, #old way, #job interview, #data online data, #ew, #disgust, #walked out

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Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #stress, #vacations, #unlimited vacation days, #torpedo career, #source of stress, #set up, #manipulate

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #vacations, #work ethic, #unlimited vacation policy, #200 days off, #double productivity, #no way to measure

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Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

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Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money

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Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bad days, #decisons, #enviornment, #good days, #happiness, #in your mind, #perceptions, #ticked off, #psychology

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Dilbert: I had a great day yesterday! Garbage Man: No you didn't. Good and bad days are only in your mind. The environment is largely the same as the day before. Dilbert: You're ticking me off. Garbage Man: Or am I?