Months Comic Strips - Page 12

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128 Results for Months

View 111 - 120 results for months comic strips. Discover the best "Months" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

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Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bot, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic, #obliviousness

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Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #diet, #dating, #restaurant, #relationships, #health

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Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

Requesting The Slightest Change

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Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

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Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

Estimating Finish Times

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Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

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Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

How Long For New Feature

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How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #legacy, #deception, #engineer, #programmer, #engineering

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Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #policy, #conversation, #ideas, #management, #strategy, #politeness, #etiquette, #business

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

Artificial Deadlines

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Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses

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Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

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Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay

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Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.