Necklace Computer Comic Strips - Page 12
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Alice is on the phone in front of her computer. The person on the phone says, "Try rebooting your computer." A furious Alice is seen on top of the office building, kicking her computer off the roof. Alice peers over the side of the building on the phone and says, "Thanks. I feel much better."
The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."
Dilbert sits at his computer as the Boss sits behind him saying, "It needs to be so easy that your mother could use it." Dilbert replies, "My mother isn't a moron. Maybe we could use your mother as the test." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my mother is a moron?" Dilbert says, "She fed you."
A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"
Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "The feng shui in your office is terrible." The Boss replies, "It is?" Carol says, "That hum... it's the sound of your energy being drained into the internet." Dilbert asks Carol, "Who told him that his computer fan is killing him?"
Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He thinks, "My vacation starts in ten minutes." Dilbert continues to think, "I tied up all of my loose ends. I only need to walk out the door." The Boss approaches and tells Dilbert, "I told a reporter that we designed a computer made entirely of recycled paper."
The Boss puts his arm around Dilbert and says to the meeting, "I asked Dilbert to lead the team in making a computer entirely from recycled paper." Asok exclaims, "Ha Ha Ha!! You are totally doomed to fail!!" Asok says, "Wally is teaching me to find joy in the misery of others." Dilbert turns to Asok and responds, "You're on my project team."
Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."
The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."
Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."