New Things Comic Strips - Page 12

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View 111 - 120 results for new things comic strips. Discover the best "New Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #janitor expenses, #empty trash, #new employee fitness, #trashercise

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The Boss sits in front of Catbert's desk. The Boss asks, "I have to cut janitor expenses. Do you think I'll have any HR issues if I make employees empty their own trash?" Catbert answers, "We'll soften the bad news by simultaneously introducing a new employee fitness program . . ." Dilbert and Alice stand outside a row of cubicles. The janitor shouts, "Okay, everybody, it's time to trashercise!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #writing email, #protest new policy, #empty trash, #highly paid engineers, #unproductive tsak, #inventing the future, #quality faire

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Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #office equipment, #garage sale, #new slogan, #selling stuff, #keeping money

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Dilbert watches Wally pack his car trunk. Dilbert asks, "Where are you taking all that office equipment?" Wally answers, "I'm having a garage sale." Wally continues, "Our new company slogan is 'Act like you own the company.' So I've been selling the stuff that I don't use and keeping the money." Dilbert asks, "Is that my new color monitor?" Wally replies, "Yeah, I never use that thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

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The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #found software, #performance evaluations, #same company, #fortune cookies, #buy new car, #use pc

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The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #angel, #promoted top angel, #angel on earth, #help people, #mission assigned, #halo given, #Wally, #new hair, #buns of steel, #price list

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Angel 1: Mister Dogbert, we've decided to send you back to earth as an angel. Your mission is to help people in need. We have given you special powers. Angel 2: We'll be watching. wally: Okay, is whats the price for the new hair plus buns of steel? Ahem. Dogbert: Ist all on the price sheet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #write bug free software, #ten dollar bonus, #find and fox, #right behavior, #new minivan, #afternoon

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our goal is to write bug-free software. I'll pay a ten-dollar bonus for every bug you find and fix." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement. Dilbert yells, "Yahoo!" Alice yells, "We're rich!" Wally yells, "Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!!" The Boss says, "I hope this drives the right behavior." Wally says, "I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bent over, #chairs, #key boards, #lower back pain, #management kick ass, #new policy, #on floor, #only explination, #uncomfortable

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Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #conquer the world, #secret handshake, #identify people, #new ruling class, #stick out tongue, #vinously slp, #face, #slap

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Dogbert sits on the couch backrest and Ratbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "When I conquer the world I'll have a secret handshake to identify the people who will be part of my new ruling class." Dogbert says, "Cross your eyes and stick out your tongue. Good, now vigorously slap your face." As Ratbert slaps himself, Dogbert says, "The people who aren't doing that will be identified as my new ruling class."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #convince buy product, #everybody is in sales, #imagine, #new slogan, #Wally, #friends, #convince friends

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new slogan is 'Everybody is in sales.'" The Boss continues, "Imagine if all our employees convinced their friends to buy our product, eventually . . ." Alice asks, "We'd have no friends?" Wally asks Dilbert, "What's this 'friend' thing I keep hearing about?"