Open Door Policy Comic Strips - Page 12
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Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"
the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."
Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."
The Boss: From now on, I want you to use open source software for everything we do. It's free. Dilbert: I'll be right back." "It's an emergency. I think he's been reading. Alice: We know you have a trade publication in here. Hand it over and no one has to get hurt."
CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."
Tags #family friendly policy, #implemented, #children, #parents, #needs of family, #school, #sick, #rugby game, #denta;appoitments, #responsibility of parent, #surprised, #Family, #education, #medical
Carol: "I'd like to take advantage of our new family friendly policy." "Three of my kids have bronchitis, two have dental appointments, one is in a school play, and one has a rugby game." "In all likelihood, you will never see me again." The boss: "We didn't think this through."
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
"My accomplishement this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser until I updated my operating system!" "That required me to upgrade all of my software, too." "My hard disk got maxed out, so I had to upgrade my computer and transfer all of the files." "So, then you got to view the file?" "Yeah...It was a funny one about a cat."
Hello! Hello! "Let me see that. I'm an engineer." "Hmm...It might be a bad signal or maybe a bad phone. There's only one way to isolate the problem." "Go up on the roof and see if you have reception there." "Dang. Nothing." "Uh-oh. The door is locked. No other way to get down...No one can hear me yell and my phone doesn't work." "My only hope is to jump into that open garbage bin in the alley." "That'll teach him to keep his battery charged."
"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."