Rat Floating Comic Strips - Page 12

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119 Results for Rat Floating

View 111 - 119 results for rat floating comic strips. Discover the best "Rat Floating" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbertland, #tax, #garbage, #trash, #ocean, #texas, #king, #banking system

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The Boss says, "We're reincorporating in Dogbertland for tax reasons." Dilbert says, "Where?" The Boss says, "It's a floating patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean the size of Texas." In Dogbertland Ratbert says, "How's the banking system?" Fly says, "Business is booming, King Ratbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #employee, #stupid question, #inspire, #angry, #dead body, #business

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The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assisnation, #campigning, #hateful, #rat, #running mate, #unpopular, #vice presidentail

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Dogbert: "Ratbert, I want you to be my vice presidential running mate." "Your job is to be so unpopular that no one will want to assassinate me." Ratbert: "I can do that!" Dilbert: "Seriously. Stop campaigning on my shoe." grrr!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buff bufferman, #rock climbing, #blizzards, #pair of eacles, #leap off, #gran legs, #raging river, #white water, #keyboard, #hunched over

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The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human body, #love, #rodents, #hugs, #without hassle, #oxytocin, #levels, #cuddles, #relationships

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Wally: I want the health benefits of hugging without the hassle of a relationship. This rat is like a patch that increases my ocytocin levels. Rat: I thought we were in love. Wally: That's your oxytocin talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Not Morons

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Not Morons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #tag line, #slogan, #name-calling, #insult, #obliviousness, #business

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Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

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Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #sick days, #medical

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Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Jumping Out A Window

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Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #boss, #listen, #repeat, #jump, #window, #bluff, #reiterate, #parachute

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dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.