Right To Asylum Comic Strips - Page 12
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Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "You're healthy. That's fifty dollars." Dilbert says angrily, "You haven't even looked at my arm!" The man says, "Who's the doctor here?" Dilbert replies, "Apparently, neither of us." The man says, "Right. So it's just your word against mine."
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the front steps and says, "You should think about washing the car soon." Dilbert says, "You're right . . . It's just so easy to get used to it being dirty." There is so much dirt on the car that plants are growing on it and a bird has made his nest on the antenna. Dilbert continues, "But lately it's been affecting my gas mileage."
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking about my goal of becoming the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert says, "I know EXACTLY how you feel. I once had a goal of growing a mustache . . . But it was beyond my grasp." Dilbert continues, "I mean, figuratively beyond my grasp. I could still reach my upper lip, you understand . . . But there was no reason to try." Dogbert says, "Right, but back to me . . ."
Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."
Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, I have drafted a basic bill of rights for all Elbonians." The man shows Dogbert a document and continues, "We demand the right to dress potatoes like our favorite celebrities!" Dogbert reads, ". . . The right to collect string . . . The right to make armpit noises." The Elbonian says, "It's the first draft."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."
Wally says to Dilbert, "Uh-oh, Nardo is coming. I'm out of here." Nardo and Dilbert stand nose-to-nose. Dilbert says, "Uh, hi, Nardo." Nardo says, "In the old country we did not have what you call personal space." Dilbert says, "Take your hands out of my pockets." Nardo says, "Oh, I get it. They're for your use only, right?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "When you're north of the equator, water swirls clockwise down the drain . . ." Dilbert continues, "South of the equator, it swirls counter-clockwise." Dogbert asks, "What's it do right on the equator?" On the equator, a woman stands in front of a sink and says, "Juan! It's just sitting there again!"
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Have you heard about the Idaho flu that's going around?" Dogbert continues, "At first you feel perfectly healthy . . . Then bam, you die." Dilbert pulls on his tie and says, "Hey, I feel perfectly healthy right now." Dogbert walks away thinking, "My work here is done."