Same Excuses Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

436 Results for Same Excuses

View 111 - 120 results for same excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Same Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flicking fingers, #joyous celebration, #linked to pay, #success sounds like, #snappy sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #dog, #rat, #phone call, #customer, #question, #compensate tiny brain, #to busy, #play dead, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "Please wait while I consult with somebody who has your exact same problem." Ratbert sits in the chair next to Dogbert. Dogbert asks him, "How do you compensate for a tiny brain, Ratbert?" Ratbert answers, "I just say I'm way too busy to learn. Then I get somebody else to do my work." Dilbert says into the phone, "I'm going to transfer you to an expert." Ratbert says, "Sometimes I pretend to be dead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team leader, #perks, #staus, #special agent, #like wally but thicker, #cubicle walls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert asks, "As team leader, I think I should get some perks so people know my status." The Boss replies, "I'll have your cubicle walls sprayed with a special thickening agent. It might look the same, but trust me, people will know how thick you are." Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "I'm just like you, Wally, but thicker." Wally says, "I've noticed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame the media, #blow out proportion, #dispappear, #human nature, #third wife, #Wally, #free replacements

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Dogbert says, "You could offer free replacements for all the keyboards you sold without a 'Q,' or you could blame the media for blowing it out of proportion." Wally says, "Let's blame the media. They'll admit they were wrong and the whole thing will disappear." Dogbert says, "You have a brilliant grasp of human nature, Wally." Wally responds, "I know. My third wife always said the same thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #signs on cubciles, #be classy, #cubicles, #conference rooms, #catch

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in the door of Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Why is everybody putting signs on their cubicles?" Dilbert replies, "We thought it would be classy to name our cubicles the same way we name conference rooms." The Boss reads signs that say "O.J. Room" and "Menendez Rooms" and thinks, "I know there's a catch . . . But what?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teamwork, #egyptians, #pyramids, #slaves, #built by slaves, #shooting, #guided by ufos

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I want us to have the same kind of teamwork as the Egyptians who built the pyramids!" Alice comments, "Some scholars believe the pyramids were built by slaves." The Boss replies, "But there's some doubt; that's all I'm shooting for." Dilbert says, "I think THEY were guided by UFOs too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #casual friday, #tan pants, #business casual, #unattractive, #unorofessional, #fashion opinion, #engineer matters

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice walks past Wally's cubicle. Wally says, "Well, it wouldn't be Friday if I didn't see Alice wearing her one pair of tan pants." Wally continues, "I love the 'business casual' look for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." Alice responds, "Do you think the fashion opinion of a male engineer matters to me??" Dilbert enters wearing the same print shirt and pants as Alice. Dilbert yells, "Twins!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert treks tna, #tech writer, #technical writing, #word processing, #highly skilled, #communications professional, #inert thoughts, #staff meeting, #org chart, #secretary meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tina brittlke tech, #dysfunctional, #opinions, #email, #women portrayed, #lawyers, #startship captains, #art class

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Tina are sitting at a table. Dogbert says to the reader, "This week, we introduced Tina the Brittle Tech Writer to the strip. Tina is dysfunctional like everybody here except me." Tina growls, "RRRR." Dogbert continues, "Send your opinions by e-mail to scottadams@aol.com. It's the only way we can learn." Tina growls, "RRRR." A written list says, "PICK ONE: A. Women should only be portrayed as lawyers and starship captains. B. I don't have e-mail. C. Tina should be treated with the same dignity as Dilbert and Wally. D. Take an art class."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #original timeline, #12 months, #pitched in, #exact end date, #cold dark, #cheunk, #coal, #size, #forehead, #need flashlights, #sweaters, #nippy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at a desk. Dilbert reads a printout and says, "Our original project time line was twelve months . . . But since you pitched in to help . . ." Dilbert continues, "I don't have an exact date, but it's roughly the same time that the sun becomes a cold dark chunk of coal the size of your forehead." The Boss says, "We'll need flashlights." Dilbert says, "And sweaters. It could get nippy."