Save Unicorn Dna Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

163 Results for Save Unicorn Dna

View 111 - 120 results for save unicorn dna comic strips. Discover the best "Save Unicorn Dna" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I found a way to save a million dollars by spending only $10,000." "The $10,000 would come out of my budget but the savings would go into someone else's budget. It's not feasible." "Our stockholders might disagree." "That's why they aren't invited to meetings."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

This completes my presentation. "Does anyone have a question designed to increase my workload for your entertainment?" "How much money would the company save if you did the entire project by yourself?" "Hmmm..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, I need you to create a PowerPoint presentation that will save our department from being eliminated." "You must quantify the unquantifiable. And that can only be done by a process that I call lying." "Lying is a process?" "It can be, if you use enough slides."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I never reviewed the design. "Yes you did. Here's a copy of your e-mail." "This is hardly conclusive. Did you get any DNA evidence?" "What was all that screaming?" "I had to collect some DNA."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters degree, #business, #promoted to management, #less useful, #3 years, #night classes, #rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #moral compass broken, #nun, #ceo, #scientist, #burning building, #bidding war, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #retire, #name, #swear, #curse, #point

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I finally saved enough money to retire anytime I want." Wally says, "Someone should invent a witty name for that amount of money." The Boss says, "$%@# *@U" Wally says, "Perfect! Can I use that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bragging, #saving, #money, #talking, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Dilbert says, "I'm painting my own house to save money." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I had spider glands trasplanted into my body so I can make my own silk garments." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem?" Topper says, "Who wants mittens?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carrying, #downsizing, #cruel, #dying, #walking, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We can save the most money by downsizing the unhealthiest workers first." The boss says, "How do we know who they are?" Catbert says, "We'll close the parking lot that's nearest the building." Asok says, "Should we help them?" Wally says, "It's too late for broccoli."