Secret Comic Strips - Page 12
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120 Results for Secret
View 111 - 120 results for secret comic strips. Discover the best "Secret" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 03,
2016
Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something
Tags secret, keeping secrets, panic, worry
Transcript
Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday May 04,
2016
What The Boss Said
Tags secret, accusation, privacy, following, bathroom, restroom, personal space
Transcript
Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?
Thursday May 05,
2016
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows
Tags Advice, bad advice, secret, gratitude
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.
Wednesday June 22,
2016
Human Intelligence
Tags ai, artificial intelligence, humans, arguing, human nature, intelligence, deception
Transcript
Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!
Sunday February 12,
2017
Tags wages, salary, secret, anger, compensation, money, unfair
Transcript
Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?
Friday July 28,
2017
Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed
Tags memory, obliviousness, managers, executives, hubris
Transcript
Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.
Saturday July 29,
2017
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers
Tags lying, swearing, exaggeration, deception, accomplishment
Transcript
Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.
Sunday November 05,
2017
Tags lying, deception, secret, choosing, choices
Transcript
Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?
Tuesday February 27,
2018
How To Use Personality Profiles
Tags personality test, personaity, privacy, memory, forgetfulness, absent mindedness
Transcript
Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.
Wednesday May 30,
2018
Arguing With Idiots
Tags happiness, secret, tip, arguing, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.


