Sex With Birds Comic Strips - Page 12

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sex With Birds

View 111 - 120 results for sex with birds comic strips. Discover the best "Sex With Birds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting with boss, #stretch first, #limber, #muscles, #strain something, #stretch

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Im going to a meeting with my boss. Carol: did you stretch first? Carol: you need to limber up your lying muscles or you'll stain something. Really? Things are going that well?/! Didn't stretch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great design, #big seller, #attractive, #honor flaw, #functionality, #sex crimes, #accuses user, #cute

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #database analyst, #tech writer, #database anaylst, #ignorance with certainty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #punch and hate ignorance, #certainty, #punctuate ignorance with ceratinty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina gave me a great compliment. She said I punch and hate ignorance with certainty. Dilbert: Are you sure she didn't say you punctuate your ignorance with certainty? Boss: I'm positive! Hah-cha!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest deficit, #inability handle criticism, #stupid misperceptions, #argue with smarter people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your biggest defect continues to be your inability to handle criticism. Alice: I can't argue with his stupid misperception without proving its true. The boss: and you argie with people who are much smarter than yourself. Alice GAAA!!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts ad agency, #research, #don't use prodcut, #outdoors, #indoors, #intensive ad campaign, #outdoors for losers, #humming birds, #man in garden, #happiness of gullible people, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's ad agency" Dogbert stands on a table holding a pointer. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "According to my research..." Dogbert says, "...People don't use your products when they are outdoors." Dogbert gestures to The Boss, "Somehow we must keep people indoors." Dogbert flips a page on a display notepad. Dogbert says, "I recommend an intensive ad campaign..." Dogbert continues..."Featuring this slogan..." The pad reads, 'Outdoors is for losers.' Dpgbert says to Alice, Dilbert and The Boss, "The tv spot will show humming-birds attacking a man in his garden." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Wouldn't that destroy the happiness of gullible people?" Dogbert says, "We'll tell them it doesn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #forecast, #predcit, #pants so high, #kill self with belt, #statue erected, #honor of blet, #stupid towns people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discount religin, #tithing 5%, #sin is in, #no time with joiners

View Transcript

Transcript

I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"