Smarter Than Stupid Rattus Comic Strips - Page 12

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323 Results for Smarter Than Stupid Rattus

View 111 - 120 results for smarter than stupid rattus comic strips. Discover the best "Smarter Than Stupid Rattus" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags network, optics, stupid company, Women, imagination, flirting, miscommunication, co workers, argument, women in management, employees, business

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Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

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Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

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Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mistake, criticism, obliviousness

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Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.

Do What Is Right

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Do What Is Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, stupid, punish, hypothetically, Right

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, if my boss told me to do something stupid, should I do it? The Boss: You should do what you know is right. Dilbert: Oh, good. The Boss: And then your boss should punish you for doing it.

Dogbert The Insultant

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Dogbert The Insultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, business, insultant, journal, week, fat, stupid, question, list

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Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

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Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, robot, sarcasm, social media, stupidity, technology, twitter, humans

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Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Leaders Have Differen Memories

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Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, office, stupid, leadership

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the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Consultant Gets No Help

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Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid

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the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

What If You Are In A Coma

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What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma

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phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Imperfect Decisions

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Imperfect Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, vacation, decision, uninformed, perfect, good, stupid, smart, enemy

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boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.