Stealing Stuff Comic Strips - Page 12

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203 Results for Stealing Stuff

View 111 - 120 results for stealing stuff comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Stuff" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2000's comic on:

Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

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The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2002's comic on:

Tags #three hole punch, #waltzing in, #borrowing things, #whack list, #demanding, #in exchange for, #hole punch

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An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2003's comic on:

Tags #cutomers, #delivery, #business, #took money, #winner, #lied

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2003's comic on:

Tags #career, #asking for stiff, #remind you, #feelings

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Alice approaches The Boss and says, "I just realized that my career primarily consists of asking you for stuff..." Alice continues, "... And wondering how long I should wait before I remind you." Alice asks, "Do you know how that makes me feel?" The Boss responds, "How what makes you feel?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2004's comic on:

Tags #no frills airline, #$23 run to destinations, #crazy stuff, #saliva

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Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2004's comic on:

Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes

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Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2004's comic on:

Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview

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The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2012's comic on:

Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business

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Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2005's comic on:

Tags #doctors offcie, #exam room, #toxikill, #drug comapny, #totally hot, #side effects, #what eaten, #doctor, #thinking of date, #drug rep, #hot, #payoff, #kick back, #medical

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Doctor: You're healthy but I have to give you a prescription for tocikill. The drug company's rep is totally hot and said she'd take me to lunch if I sell enough of this stuff." Dilbert: Will there be any side effects?" " Doctor: Depends on what I eat."