Search Results for "synchronized space"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

Thank you for voting.
Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Oxygen Not In The Budget

Thank you for voting.
Oxygen Not In The Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #space, #cubicle, #conference room, #office, #sharing, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Two Choices For Work Space

Thank you for voting.
Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

New Military Project

Thank you for voting.
New Military Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #name, #weapon, #semantics, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My staff is threatening to quit because of our military contracts. CEO: Tell them we only work on defensive weapons. Boss: It might help if we changed the project name from "City-killing Laser In Space." CEO: How about "Skylight?"

Winning The Nasa Contract

Thank you for voting.
Winning The Nasa Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #attack, #communication, #earth, #space, #nasa

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: NASA has detected an alien probe heading for earth. We won the NASA contract to contact the aliens using a focused laser beam. Dilbert: Wouldn't that look to them like an attack? Boss: Maybe that's why do one else bid.

Contacting The Alien Probe

Thank you for voting.
Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #communication, #earth, #space, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.