Search Results for "too dumb"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #cruelty, #thinking, #thought diversity, #meeting, #fad, #business

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Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #answers, #asked, #dumb guy, #formatted data, #obvious in hindsight, #questions, #stare at me, #office seeting, #not enough questions

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Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #exhausting, #dumb founded

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Dilbert: I thought you were telecommuting this week. Wally: It was too exhausting. Dilbert: I have no follow-up questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #employees, #trusted advisor, #dumb plan, #boss, #employee, #saying no, #business

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Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #decisions, #unsupported belife, #paraphrase incorrectly

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CEO: Spare me the tedious technical details. I make my decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert: So you replaced your unsupported belief that you could spot winning projects with an unsupported belief that you can identify winning people? CEO: Stop making it sound dumb! Dilbert: Should I try paraphrasing it incorrectly?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #any penalty, #big trouble, #idiotic plan, #imperfect plan, #leading by example, #perfect plan

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Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #business ethics, #stock market, #stock split, #dumb stock holders, #fantastic prodcuts, #money

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CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

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Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #insult, #insults, #judgement, #smart phones, #technology, #flip phone, #judegment, #follow ups

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Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

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Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

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Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #job, #job description, #managers, #manipulation, #taking advantage, #task, #whiney quitter, #resourceful entrepreneur, #personal growth, #outside the box, #key to greatness, #assigning wrong people, #mow lawn, #business

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Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.