Top Secret Data Comic Strips - Page 12

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424 Results for Top Secret Data

View 111 - 120 results for top secret data comic strips. Discover the best "Top Secret Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

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The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #top priority, #smoldering mound, #rubble, #career, #didn't like, #desk

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The Boss: "Dilbert, take care of this. It's our top priority." Dilbert: "Sure. I'll just let m other priorities slip until my career is a smoldering mound of rubble." dilbert: "So what is it?" The Boss: "I don't know.. I just didn't like it on my desk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system

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The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #heart and sould, #high speed data, #talent pool, #in charge, #mentor, #panicking

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Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #top down budget, #bottom up budget, #ignorance, #cruelty, #lying, #optimism, #cancel, #wasted hour

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Man: "I averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget." "As you can see, the ignorance and cruelty canceled out the lying and optimism." Alice: "Do you have anything to cancel out feelings of a wasted hour?" Man: "Have you tried despair?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top

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Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #porject, #top prioroty, #tell everything, #bored, #can't stay awake, #haven't talked yet, #gets worse

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The Boss: Your project is my top priority. Tell me everything that I need to know. In so bored...cant...stay...awake. Dilbert: I haven't started talking yet. The Boss: Int gets worse??! Dilbert: oo okay

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

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The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #secret society, #executive secretaries, #subjugation, #humiliation, #misery, #afternoon, #schedule

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"Today is the day that the secret society of executive secretaries takes over the world." "Carol, what's on my schedule this morning?" "Subjugation, humiliation and misery! Ha ha ha!" "How's the afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #carol, #secreatry, #secret society, #executive secreataries, #rule the world, #own secreatries, #Women, #meeting, #take over the world, #evil overlords, #business

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Carol: welcome to the secret society of executive secretaries. Today we will wrest power from our evil overlords! Tomorrow we'll rule the world! Then connie pointed out that we'd need our own secretaries and the whole thing fell apart.