Web Is Plot Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
136 Results for Web Is Plot
View 111 - 120 results for web is plot comic strips. Discover the best "Web Is Plot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 29,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #sales personnel, #deluxe edition, #store, #online shopping, #unnecessary warranty extenstion, #digital receipt
Transcript
Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday September 16,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #government databases, #rest passwords, #case file, #face on pennies
Transcript
Wally: I thought you were on the run for hacking the government's databases. Dilbert: I was. But they forgot to reset their passwords, so I deleted my case file and gave myself a tax break. Wally: Did you get me anything? Dilbert: You're the new face on pennies.
Sunday October 20,
2013
Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.
Saturday October 12,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention
Transcript
Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click
Wednesday November 06,
2013
Tags #computer software, #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #syoe, #shut down, #quit, #drown it
Transcript
Alice: Okay, Skype. Let's see if I can figure out how to shut you down. Close! Quit! Sign out! Minimize! Quit! Yes! Close! Quit! Die! Die! Die! Dilbert: Did you close Skype. Alice: Almost. I'm heading to the ocean to drown it.
Thursday November 28,
2013
Tags #defense industry, #internet & world wide web, #surveillance, #internet activity, #blind, #counceling, #weaponize
Transcript
Agent: I'm from the government. We've been monitoring your Internet activity. Half of my department went blind and the other half needs counseling. Wally: Sounds like not my problem. Agent: We'd like to weaponize you.
Friday November 29,
2013
Tags #defense industry, #internet & world wide web, #browser, #firewall, #hackers, #fluke
Transcript
Agent: The government would like to use your browser history as a firewall against Elbonian hackers. One look at what you're up to will make them blind and crazy. I know because it worked on me. Elbonian: That's probably a fluke. You try. A Week Later in Elbonia
Thursday December 05,
2013
Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.
Friday December 06,
2013
Tags #annoyance, #friendship, #internet & world wide web, #facebook, #freinds, #post things, #inconvienient, #relationships
Transcript
Wally: I want to use Facebook to waste time at work, but I don't have any friends. Do you mind if I friend you? Dilbert: Sure. You'll be my only friend. Wally: Will you post things for me to look at. Dilbert: Wow. Friends are totally inconvenient.
Friday December 27,
2013
Tags #engineers, #internet & world wide web, #pride, #google, #smart, #pure energy, #life form, #gmail
Transcript
Boss; I hired an engineer from Google. He's so smart that he evolved into a life-form that exists as pure energy. Engineer: Bow before my greatness, you pitiful humans! Boss: Sometimes he's a bit arrogant. Engineer: I once added a feature to gmail!