Wild Guess Comic Strips - Page 12
242 Results for Wild Guess
View 111 - 120 results for wild guess comic strips. Discover the best "Wild Guess" comics from Dilbert.com.
The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."
Dilbert is sitting at his computer at home. He says into the telephone, "Look, I have three computers in the house. All three simultaneously lost e-mail but not web function." He continues, shaking his fist in the air, "That means the problem is in your e- mail service. Can you grasp that concept?" Dilbert is laying on the couch with a cup of coffee. He says into the phone, "Okay. I'm re-entering my account information... Hey, guess what? That didn't work either."
Asok asks The Boss, "May I have a day off to move my home?" The Boss says, "One hour." Asok replies, "What? Why only one hour?" The Boss says, "I like to negotiate." Asok says, "I guess I can try doing it in one hour." The Boss adds, "And you can't use a vehicle."
Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."
Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."
Dilbert, Asok, and Wally are eating lunch. Asok says, "My training CD has gone bad. It is brainwashing me to become a cyborg." Dilbert responds, "Don't worry. Smart people such as you can't be brainwashed to do stupid things." Asok has transformed into half cyborg. He approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess who doesn't know the first thing about brainwashing."
Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."
Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."
Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."