2008 Comic Strips - Page 12
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Character
Sunday April 20,
2008
Tags appear to be concerned, decision making, frequently thwarted, impractical advice, no one decides, perpetual problems, rarely disappointed, unwarranted optimism
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I have an issue." The Boss says, "Lordy lord." Dilbert says, "No one in the department wants to be left out of the decision making." Dilbert says, "But no one is willing to make a decision." Dilbert says, "As a result, all of my problems are perpetual." Dilbert says, "Can you do something about that?" The Boss says, "I can appear to be concerned. How's this expression?" Dilbert says, "Can you combine that with some impractical advice and unwarranted optimism?" Dilbert says, "I'm frequently thwarted, but rarely disappointed."
Monday April 21,
2008
Tags stink eye, banned telekinetic powers, neutralize threat, indian institute, department
Transcript
Man says, "Beware the power of stink eye. Intern. I will make you bow to my will!" Asok The Intern says, "Gaaa!!!" Asok The Intern says, "Must...Use...Banned telekinetic powers to neutralize threat." Man says, "Grrrr!!!" Carol The Secretary says, "You have a call from the Indian Institute of technology. It's someone from the department of things you shouldn't do."
Tuesday April 22,
2008
Tags indian institute of technology, illegal use of telekinesis, vijay pants
Transcript
Man says, "Asok, you must return to the Indian Institute of Technology to explain your illegal use of telekinesis." Asok The Intern says, "But, But..." Poof!! Man says, "Vijay, pants."
Wednesday April 23,
2008
Tags asok, intern, indian institute of technology, 30 years in box, punished to box
Transcript
Man says, "Asok, you have violated the Indian Institute of Technology's ban on the use of telekinesis in the ungifted world." Man says, "Your punishment is 30 years in the box." Dilbert says, "Where were you this morning?" Asok The Intern says, "Grrrrr"
Thursday April 24,
2008
Tags strategic alternatives, company for sale, new corporate overlords, employment vandalism
Transcript
The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"
Friday April 25,
2008
Tags creature, employee, licks face, meeting, strategic alliance, tongue, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
Saturday April 26,
2008
Tags due diligence, hidden issues, bad time, human buns
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to handle the due diligence for our alliance with the galactic protein corporation." The Boss says, "Find out if they have any hidden issues we should know about." Dilbert says, "Is this a bad time?" Human Buns
Sunday April 27,
2008
Tags boss takes credit, self loathing, blame, taking credit, desparate, good idea, bad idea
Transcript
CEO: Who thought of this idea? The Boss: I came up with it all by myself. My subordinates, who have a healthy fear of losing their jobs, had nothing to do with it. Right? Wally: We're not worth the oxygen we breathe. Dilbert: I don't even know why I'm here. CEO: I asked because it's an awful idea. The Boss: You said I was stealing credit for a good idea, you lying liar!! CEO: Oh, wait. I read it wrong. This is actually a great idea. The Boss: Thanks. I know it was a winner when I thought of Dilbert: You gave him a good idea? Wally: Not intentionally. It must have been a typo.
Monday April 28,
2008
Tags planned merger, fast food chain, employees, source of protein, perfect situation, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."
Tuesday April 29,
2008
Tags improbable solution, work problem, one million, business model
Transcript
Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."


