Search Results for "make decision"
Share December 20, 2013's comic on:
The Noncommittal Committee Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day?
Share February 20, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm updating my health directive to account for technological progress. When the age of transhumanism is upon us, I want you to kill me so I don't live forever in a robot body. Dogbert: Sure. Can I make it painful? Dilbert: Why would you even ask that?
Share April 23, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.
Share April 28, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.
Share June 30, 2014's comic on:
Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.
Share September 11, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.
Share January 27, 2015's comic on:
Share March 11, 2015's comic on:
CEO Mentors Wally. CEO: How would you like me to mentor you, underling? Wally: Can you teach me how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company? CEO: I don't know how to teach you that. Wally: Was it all luck or did you have to kill people?
Share March 17, 2015's comic on:
Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?
Share June 09, 2015's comic on:
Boss: Maybe we should make a smart watch. Dilbert: Maybe it is far too late. Boss: Maybe we could make a better one than Apple. Dilbert: Maybe we should get in a sword fight and not have a sword. Boss: Am I missing anything by not listening to what you say? Dilbert: No, it's mostly for my own entertainment.