Valuable Assignment Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

163 Results for Valuable Assignment

View 121 - 130 results for valuable assignment comic strips. Discover the best "Valuable Assignment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #awards showcase, #buy display case, #awards store, #unethical filling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Asok, your assignment is to buy a display case for our awards. Then go to the store and buy a bunch of awards because we don't have any. Asok: The next one is for 'Best Unethical Filling of an Awards Showcase.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #unpaid intern, #resort fee, #work experience, #zips eyeholes, #leather hood

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Are you the new upaid intern? Coworker: No, but that's what I aspire to be. I'm merely an intern to another intern. And I pay a resort fee just to use the restroom. Tina: At least you get valuable work experience. Coworker: Until he zips the eyeholes on the leather hood I wear in meetings.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #career advice, #work hard, #destroy helath, #personal life, #happiness advice, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hunter gather roots, #office equipment, #ouge, #power cords, #rummages through trah, #trash into gold, #upgarde

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #code monkey, #dreams, #evil director, #less work, #software simian, #architect, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #moron, #yell, #grab tie, #upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And I'll need all of that by tomorrow." Coworker says, "No problem. I'll get right on it." Dilbert says, "This is a bad sign. If you were even a little bit competent you would be overloaded with work." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!! I'm putting my trust in a moron!" Coworker says, "Wow. You got there fast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #yelling, #transfer, #job, #reprimand, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "There's an opening in my old department is it okay if I apply?" Collections supervisor says, "Sure. I'd be happy to toss that dead cat In someone else's backyard." Dilbert says, "I was worried that I might be too valuable?" Collections supervisor says, "Why are you still here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #clones, #duplicates, #confusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "What the??" Dilbert says, "Don't be surprised." Dilbert says, "In any large company there is at least one employee who is your exact replica and has the same assignment." Dilbert says, "Why didn't I know that?" Dilbert says, "I'm not your replica. I'm a look-alike that is much smarter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #conversation, #cruelty, #ridicule, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I gave the same assignment to all the employees who look like you." The boss says, "A blind squirrel is more likely to find a nut if there are a lot of blind squirrels." the boss says, "That sounded cruel allow me to rephrase it." the boss says, "I meant vision-impaired squirrels."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #work, #assignment, #placating, #saluting, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Find out how many engineers our competitors have so we can justify having that many." Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll spend a few hours comparing our apples to their oranges." The boss says, "Why does your cooperation sound like insubordination?" Dilbert says, "Aye-aye, captain!"